i think that my biggest commitments were one's imposed on me in a way. i mean i stayed with the same employer for 26 years. 3 different job titles and it was half-time for 15 years of it. tough job and motherhood but that was only half of the time too but such a rewarding big project. now i'm still in halves living in two different places.
my art is small projects, never the big ones. little beads for my short attention span, then on to necklaces stringing the little projects into slightly bigger projects. selling stints short shows small shop
afraid to pull it all together for a committed project or is this still just the journey part to forgive myself and enjoy the process. should i expect more of myself and commit to something greater. i don't want the stress of a deadline or the commitment of a large scale project, i would rather roll along and take the ride & see where it takes me. cutting myself short? or living the dream of a freelance artist not worrying about making a living at it not thinking about the money but the joy of creating and sharing. halves again. half the year i just delve into creating and then the other half goes into the marketing, reaping the rewards in a tangible way.
but something nags that i am stillunderachieving notlivinguptoit somehow but i'm beingkindtomyself with these babysteps and it's just blossoming in it's own way.
repurposing objects and i'm like one of those fascinating vintage supplies waiting in a collection on the shelf until the inspiration hits and then i'll know what exactly needs to be done. for now just building the foundation, the skills, the networking and one day will amaze myself. don't push me but really i could expect more and don't take the easy way out.
collecting and gathering and spinning out in so many directions with ideas and inspirations, bring it into focus from start to finish but looking back quite a bit has been accomplished but i just need to find that stuck place that i'm perceiving and workitout and don't ignore it or hate it or fearit but examine it and hold it.
